What They See
by smiley-over-you
Summary: Hermione Granger is in her last year at Hogwarts, dealing with everyone making fun of her Harry, and Voldemort. One day, she is pushed to far. Can Harry save her or will it be too late? Find out! R&R HPHG


What They See

My name is Hermione Granger. If you've heard of Harry Potter (and I know you have), well, I'm one of his best friends. There are times when I have to admit to myself that if it wasn't for him, I would have _hurt_ myself. But this time it's too far. He can't stop me anymore. I hope.

As I'm walking to class I hear everyone whispering. When it's not about Harry, it's about how I'm such a geeky know-it-all. I'm a book-worm. 'Look at her hair! She's so ugly!' I think to myself, "It's okay, they're just people. I don't care what they say." Oh, but I do care. I care so much. I wish they would just stop it, I already know I'm ugly, they don't need to remind me.

"Hermione," Harry says.

"What? Oh, sorry," I answer back to him. He looks at me with his beautiful jade eyes in confusion. "What did you say, I didn't hear you because I was daydreaming," I lie to him. I feel horrible for it, but it's for the best.

"I asked you if you finished your Defense Against the Dark Arts essay so we could look over it together. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Harry, and yes, I finished it," I answer him again. He has no idea whatsoever that my heart is clenching at the idea of me being with him, even if it is going over homework. At least it's just us and not Ron.

Classes pass like normal; everyone making fun of me and me getting everything almost perfect. But it's not good enough; it's not perfect. Nothing about me is.

Now I sit in a corner alone with Harry. I love him so much, but he could never love me. I'm too ugly, stupid, disgusting, and pathetic. He'll never see what Viktor saw in me, although I have no idea what that was.

"For the vampire part of it; isn't there some kind of protein in our blood that they need to survive?" Harry asks, concentration written on his face.

"Yes, they thrive off of iconoprotein that is in only human and pig blood," I tell him.

"That's what it is!" he says as he snaps his fingers. "Thanks, 'Mione."

"No problem, Harry." My heart is hurting from hearing the nickname he gave me. It is obviously starting up again because I hear Parvati and Lavender making fun of me. I can't take it anymore so I slam my books shut, whisper a teary goodnight to Harry, and start walking up the stairs. I stop when I hear Harry's voice echoing up them.

"Lay off of Hermione, you two. You're just jealous because she has better grades and looks better than you two _naturally,_ because we all know you two are ugly without your ten pounds of makeup."

"Awe, how cute, Harry _likes_ the geek. C'mon Harry, your _famous_, you can get _any_ girl you want and yet you go after _bush_-head," Parvati says back to him. Lavender starts laughing at the insult to me.

"_First_ off, Hermione is my _friend _and _no _one messes with my friends. Like you so _kindly_ put it, I'm famous and I've beaten Death-Eaters and Voldemort." I know they are flinching at the name. Only Professor Dumbledore, Harry and I don't flinch. "I'm pretty sure I could take you two down if I wanted to. Second off, it's not _my_ fault I'm famous, and no, I can't get any girl I want. _No one_ can. And who _cares_ if I go after Hermione? She's a _hell_ of a lot better than you two put together."

I hear someone coming towards the stairs so I quietly run up them and jump in bed, pretending to be asleep. I hear Lavender again.

"The geek doesn't even know that _someone_ stood up for her for once. Did you hear him, though? The way he said friend? He was mad that we said he liked her. She likes him a lot, that I know, and you can tell by the way he said that, that he doesn't like her at all!"

I try to hold my tears back but I can't stop them. How could I have ever believed anything? All of my hope is crushed, not that I had much of it to begin with.

Next thing I know, it's morning. I still have the conversation of last night in my head, and I can't take much more. I hurry and get ready and leave before Parvati and Lavender even wake up.

By lunch, I'm trying not to cry. Everyone knows about the conversation and they're all making fun of me. Harry notices that I'm upset and tries to comfort me.

"Hermione, forget everyone, they're just jealous," Harry says.

"Thanks, Harry, I needed that." I roll my eyes at him because I know he's lying. They aren't jealous, they just _know_ that I'm ugly and everything else. I go to stand up but Harry stops me.

"Hermione, wait."

"What?" Just then, Ron walks in and starts laughing about all the rumors. I'm so mad at him right now, I thought he was my friend. "Ron! I can't believe you! You're supposed to be my friend!" I run out of the Great Hall crying. I can't take this anymore, so I run to my dorm and grab my razor. I run to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and lock the doors so no one can find out what I'm doing.

"This is for me being a know-it-all." I stop for a second when the razor is at my wrist. I see Harry's reaction in my head if he would find out. But it's not good enough. I press down hard, earning a new gash in my scarred wrist. I drag the razor across my wrist, slicing deep.

_**Bang!**_

I hear someone trying to desperately get in, but I don't want them to get in. I cut the razor across my other wrist and smile in satisfaction as I feel my self fading slowly into oblivion.

"Hermione!" someone yells, desperately. Who would want to see me so badly? "Hermione please let me in." Who is that? I recognize the voice but my mind is so slow from loosing so much blood that I can't figure it out.

Darkness creeps in my sight fast, as all of my muscles relax. Obviously my spells wear off because whoever was at the door is in now.

"Hermione," the person pleads. "Please don't leave me, I love you. I need you. Shit, Hermione, how could you do this?"

The last thing I see is Harry's face, before oblivion consumes me.

I can't stay here, though. There's this light in my eyes and I feel a strong pull to it. As I walk, I remember what Harry said. I try to pull away from the light, but it's too strong and it pulls me in.

"I'm in heaven, just when I find out he loves me," I say to myself. I gasp when I see my grandmother walking too me.

"Hermione, my baby, has life really been this hard on you that you had to do this to yourself?" she asks me and I realize that I was being selfish to do what I did.

"No," I whisper to her, tears in my eyes. She lifts my chin up so I'm looking into her eyes.

"Then why, my darling?"

"I thought I had nothing to live for, but now I realize I have _so_ much to live for. But it's too late." I hand my head, trying hard not to cry.

"My 'Mione, it's never too late. Go back; I do believe you have a handsome young man begging for you to. And don't forget, Hermione, to always live life to its fullest, and never let it get you down again, because it will try."

"Grams, how do I go back? I can't leave!" I scream.

"You'll know dear," she says wisely. "Good luck."

When she disappears I stare at the spot, dumbfounded. I have no idea how to get back, and I want to at_ least_ tell Harry sorry for me being an idiot.

Then it hits me. I need to fight my way, using all of my strength, to get back to life, to Harry. So I do, I fight with all of the strength in me, but it's still not good enough.

"Harry, I need to see you again," I whisper to myself. All of a sudden, I feel a strength I'd never had before and it leads me out of the light and back to the dark.

"Hermione, please, _please_, come back to me. You can't do this to me! I love you!" I hear Harry's voice say. As I follow it, there's this new light ahead of me, but I know it's not heaven. I run with all my might to that.

When I reach the light, I find myself gasping for breath in a bright room, with Harry beside me and Madame Pomfrey waving her wand franticly. Although her face is clenched in concentration, I can tell she's relieved. She gives me a couple of potions now that I'm awake and I find myself extremely tired.

"Harry," I whisper before I succumb to sleep.

When I come around again, I hear a few people whispering a few feet away from my bed and I decide to listen and not let them know I'm awake.

"I've always been afraid something like this would happen at Hogwarts. It's like everywhere else, bullies, people being bullied. It was only a matter of time. I'm glad she's okay though. I promise you, Dr. Granger, that all of this will stop and your daughter will be safe again. You have my word."

I move to let them know I'm awake, but I can't seem to open my eyes yet.

"My baby's waking up," I hear my mother say. I force my eyes open to see my parents and Professor Dumbledore around my bed.

"Mum, Dad, I'm so sorry," I choke out. My mom starts crying and tells me that it'll be okay, and I know it will.

"Miss Granger, I want you to know that you don't have to tell anyone what happened, and if people are mean to you, or ask, just tell me or one of the teachers. The few who _do_ know what has happened, have promised not to tell a word," the professor says to me.

"Who all knows?" I ask, worried about who it could be.

"Well, both of them are outside the door right now, hoping to see you," Professor Dumbledore says. Harry and Ron walk in with a sheepish look on their faces.

"Sorry, Professor, we just got here, we swear," Harry explains.

"It's alright, Mr. Potter. Now, if you'll excuse me." The professor walks out, leaving Harry, Ron, and my parents alone with me. Ron is the first one to break the silence.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione. If I had known, I swear I wouldn't-" he starts, but I cut him off.

"Its okay, Ron, really. And I should be the one to apologize anyway. What I did was stupid, and selfish," I look away from everyone, afraid to see the looks I'm getting. "I'm really sorry. Harry, thank you for saving me," I whisper, wondering if what he had said was a spur of the moment thing.

"Hermione, _I'm _sorry," Harry says. I look at him with confusion. "I'm a lousy friend. I should have known and helped you, but I was too busy to notice the signs. When you left, I yelled at Ron for a while and _then_ went to find you. I should have just followed you immediately. When I heard you left with your razor, I freaked and used the Marauders Map then went to get you."

"Harry, don't be sorry for my stupidity," I tell him. His jade eyes flash at my last word, and it truly scares me.

"Hermione Granger, the only reason you _are _stupid is because you're _calling_ yourself stupid! You're _smart_, the smartest witch I've ever met and don't forget that!" Harry reprimands.

"Sorry, I guess old habits are hard to break," I whisper with tears in my eyes. I look at my parents, surprised they hadn't said anything yet.

"Hermione, Harry is right, you aren't stupid. Or anything else you might think that is bad, or what other people say. The Hermione I know is so much stronger that this. Where did she go?" my mother asks.

"I don't know…. Can I please be left alone? I'm getting tired," I tell them. Everyone nods and leaves except Harry, who moves closer to me and sits on the guest chair beside my bed.

"Hermione, I don't know if you remember, but earlier when I said I loved you, I truly meant it and will never take it back." I look at him hopefully.

"Really?" I ask, afraid to push into the matter.

"Yes," he tells me. My heart is beating three times its normal rate as he gets closer to me and our lips meet. In all of my life, I had never felt like that. I truly know that I have a lot to live for now, Voldemort alive or not. Harry finally pulls away and blushes.

"I love you, too, Harry James Potter," I tell him. We kiss again, this time more passionately, as I think about a brighter future with Harry in it.

I have to stay in the Hospital Wing for a couple more weeks, to regain my strength and for much needed emotional help. On the last day I'm in here, Harry pops in and surprises me.

"Hey, baby," he says. I smile at him, loving every second with him. "I got something for ya." He pulls out a box of chocolates, flowers, and a beautiful card. "Ron helped pay for some of it, insisting because he's still really upset. I tried to talk him out of it, but it's harder than trying to get Mrs. Weasley to let Ron join the order, and we _all_ know that's _extremely_ hard." I laugh at his joke, glad for the presents.

"Miss Granger," Madame Pomfrey calls just as Harry and I are about to kiss.

"Yes, Madame Pomfrey?" I ask, slightly irritated.

"You have no reason to stay here tonight, so you can leave. If anything feels wrong come back immediately." I stare at her, dumbfounded.

"Really?" I ask, shocked.

"Yes, now leave before I change my mind," she says. I jump up and literally run out of the hospital wing, Harry following shortly behind.

"Harry?" I ask, subconscious about what everyone will say when they see me again.

"Don't worry, Hermione, everything will be fine," he says, wrapping his arm around my waist. "Just don't forget that you have me to live for and screw everyone else."

"I love you," I tell him. He brings his head down to mine, kissing me.

When we enter the Great Hall, everyone turns to see me and I stiffen in Harry's arm. He hugs me to him and whispers 'forget them' in my ear. By the time we sit down and dinner is in front of us, I can't help but notice all of the conversations about me. I start fidgeting nervously and realize that I can't do this, I'm not ready.

"Can we please leave?" I beg him. He looks at me and nods his head. We get up and leave but I still hear people talking while we're walking down the corridor.

"Are you okay, 'Mione?" Harry asks, worried. I nod my head but I still feel like everyone's right there, talking about me, making fun of me. Harry doesn't believe me so he stops me and turns me to face him. "Hermione, you're stronger than this, don't let it overpower you. Look at me," I look into jade eyes. "I love you, and that's all that matters. Any time you feel anything that upsets you, think of us, and don't forget about us. I need you and you can't take yourself away from me. Ok?"

"Yes, of course," I say, having to look away. Our lips meet but Harry's stomach growls in the middle of it. I laugh as he grins sheepishly. "I guess we should go to the kitchens then?"

"Yeah," is all Harry says as he grabs my hand and pulls me towards them.

Sessions are turned to once a week and Harry and Ron come with me for support. Everyone says I'm doing well and I'm almost back to normal, but I still feel the unworthiness a lot.

Today is a breakthrough for me, as I accidentally let slip that I don't think I'm good enough for Harry.

"Hermione, don't _ever_ think that. You are_ too_ good for me. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you, on several occasions. Don't ever forget I love you; no matter what happens, I will love you." I break down at his words and I know everyone realizes that I'm not making as much progress as they had thought, I just hide it better.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I've been hiding so much, and I just can't hold it in anymore." I tell them everything that's bothering me, and I feel so much better.

"Hermione, you need to talk to one of us about your feelings, and you'll improve even more," Madame Pomfrey tells me. I know, but it's hard.

I start doing what she says, and I find myself happier all the time. I no longer feel depressed or worthless. I also don't have times where I feel like it's too much. I'm fixed now.

"Hermione," Harry starts.

"Yeah?" I ask him in the middle of the Great Hall, eating.

"I've got something for you," he tells me. I look at him questioningly, wondering what it could be.

"Okay," I urge him on.

"First off, you've come such a long way, and I'd like to say congratulations to that. Second, I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you forever. So..." Harry pulls out a small box and gets on one knee. I can't believe this is happening.

"Yes, Harry?" I ask, slightly breathless.

"Will you do the honor of being my wife?" he asks me. I don't even wait for him to open the box; I just hug him with all my might, while crying, and say,

"Yes! Of course!"

"I love you," he tells me before he kisses me like he'd never done before. Everyone who saw and heard claps for us. I'm so happy right now that the day I've always been dreaming of had come, and it was truly my savior.

"Harry, I love you too. You saved me, helped me, and are my best friend. How could I not have said yes?" I kiss him again. I realize that my life is _truly_ back to normal and, like Harry said a while ago, if anyone has a problem with me or us, screw them. I'm beyond happy for the first time in a long time, and no one can change that. I'm Hermione Granger, soon to be Potter; survivor of suicide, and defeater of when life gets you down.


End file.
